Towards the end of last year I decided I wanted to apply for a tv quiz show called Pointless.
Pointless, for those who have never heard of it, is an afternoon quiz show on BBC2 hosted by Alexander Armstrong with the font of all knowledge that is Richard Osman. The easiest way to describe it is like reverse Family Fortunes (or Feud for my American chums)...basically you are looking for the most obscure (ie pointless) answers to a question that has been asked. One couple with the highest score is knocked out each round until one couple remain. Final round you give three answers where ONE of them has to be pointless.
I got myself terribly hooked on this show - often playing it against the tv via the medium of Twitter (apologies to my followers for those ones!). When I saw that application was open for Series 3 I thought I would apply and asked my friend, Scott, if he'd be my partner (he agreed). By the time I got all the application done and signed, we'd missed the deadline...oh well...
A few months passed and I noticed it was now open for applications for Series 4 - so I changed dates and submitted, figuring we had nothing to lose.
To my surprise, we were selected for a 'phone interview by one of the researchers called Alex. She spoke to both Scott and I, having a complete giggle on the 'phone. This then lead to us being invited along for auditions in mid-December.
Auditions
The audition day came around, Scott and I headed to west London, got to the hotel on our email early (an achievement for the pair of us), and sat down in the bar area waiting...
...and waiting...
...and waiting...
Half an hour passed by, and we figured something was wrong. The person on reception had informed us that the "tv lot hadn't turned up yet" earlier, but now it looked like they weren't turning up at all. Scott popped back to reception to double check. Turned out they were the wrong hotel and we wanted the one two minutes walk down the road!!! GAH!!!
Scott & I hot-footed it out of the hotel, calling the production team en route to explain we were still coming. We arrived all hot and flustered only to discover we weren't the last team and we still had plenty of time. Introductions were made to various production team members, including Alex who we had both spoken to, and general introductions to the other potential contestants.
Once the remaining guests had arrived, we were whisked off to a boardroom to sign our lives away and do a quick quiz (shockingly poor show for me, I think). Chats around the table commence, telling "interesting fact or stories" about yourselves. Then it's time for a mini game of Pointless.
I should point out at this time that Scott had never seen Pointless until a few days before the audition.
The first two rounds were individual rounds (no conferring) and we had to decide who took which subject before the actual question was revealed. The first subject was "Hollywood Legends" - which was obviously going to be Scott's subject...leaving me with the second subject of "Wannabe Celebrities" (oh lordy...I don't watch x-idol can dance...only one I was a fan of was Big Brother!).
So first question to Scott was "Name a Hitchcock movie" - he went with Rope that scored him a 3 - a most excellent score! Was beaten only by one other answer.
My question came around and was "Name a Big Brother winner" - OMFG YES!!! I was torn between Cameron Stout and Anthony Hutton...I plumped for Stout as Series Four was well known as the least favourite (incidentally I loved it because of Cameron). Stout earned us a 1 point...had I gone with Hutton it would've been pointless.
Heading into the final conferring round, we were ahead with only 4 points...the next team was 20-odd away from us. And then they dropped the bombshell...the next subject was Geography. We looked at each other, swearing silently.
Then a second bombshell..."Name an African capital city"
WHAT?!?!
I mean, WHAT!?!?!
Our swearing was most definitely heard. We didn't have a fricking clue. We spent much of our time wondering if Cairo counted...it was our only hope. Sadly it cost us, as other contestants were whirring and clicking their way through names of cities that, if I'm honest, I don't think people in other African countries would have heard of!
Adding 70+ points to our score left us in a respectable second place on the mini game.
Were we all dismissed and sent back to the reception area of the hotel, whilst they made their decisions over who to call back to a "to camera" interview. So we all just stood around chatting.
One chap in a very loud waistcoat - you know the sort when you see them, they are the ones that think they are vastly more knowlegible than they actually are - was boasting of how much money he'd previously won on other shows. Joining in on the brag was his wife, Double-Beadle (if you need that explaining, please ask - otherwise, use your imagination and you have it right!!!), who had also won considerable sums of money on shows. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccck!!!
Thankfully I got to be a bit smug when he was stating that "for the last three weeks he has been researching who invented peanut butter because 'no-one actually knows'".
"Yes they do" I reply
"I'm sorry, what?" comes a surprised retort
"They do know who invented it. I looked it up just last week (true). If I had a computer with me I could google the answer for you."
(Note: Marcellus Gilmore Edson patented what could be described as the first peanut butter, although slightly different from what we know)
Did I feel bad about slamming down his three weeks of research...not really, if I'm honest.
More impressive to me was the little old lady who was also "on the game show circuit" and had been for many years. She'd been on many shows but my favourite she mentioned was Name That Tune. I used to watch that when I was a kid - how they EVER named that tune in one I'll never know!!!
Some time passed by and we were ALL called back for the camera interview.
Scott and I just had a giggle, especially when Scott couldn't figure out how many days away his birthday was, and made it through to the end of it still laughing. We left the auditions, figuring we'd had a fun morning regardless of whether we got onto the actual show...
